The Calling of a Lifetime

The question lately: what is the significance of "matthewninenine"? Superb inquiry. I would love to elaborate.

Cousin Jacob and I showed up for 6:30 mass at St. Mary's Church of the Assumption in West, TX. The night was June 7 of 2008. That's a lot of detail, huh? Well, it's the day, time and place that has shaped my life ever since. You see, two days prior I had just returned from a visit in the Bay Area of NorCal, interviewing for a position with YoungLife. After my return back to Texas, I was left with a choice to make: take the leap of faith and move to Pleasanton, CA, or stay close to home and take the job offer in the field I studied at university. Big decision to make. So that night in the pew listening to Father Ed, it became as clear as grandma's plastic wrap on a piece of leftover pecan pie. It was as if God had whispered into my ear: choose yourself, or choose Me. 

Sitting there glued to the sermon, Father Ed had shared the passage from the gospel of Matthew, in the ninth chapter, starting at the ninth verse.

9As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

Throughout the ministry of Jesus, we are constantly invited to "just come and see." So in the come-and-see fashion, Jesus reaches out to a tax collector named Matthew (also referred to as Levi in other gospels), who is known as the crook of society, the dishonorable in character, the least popular in profession, by simply saying "follow me." According to scripture, we are not quite sure where Jesus and Matthew went or what they did as they left the tax booth. But the story picks up around food time.

10While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. 

Hello! Am I missing something here? "Follow me" turns into... please pass the gravy. "Collecting taxes" becomes, for Matthew...witnessing unconditional compassion. Apparently the relationship was established quickly enough to influence Matthew to open his home to a bunch of riff-raff. Ever realized how Jesus was not necessarily invited into the home, yet he invited himself? The point of observation I come to is this: Jesus put himself in that situation. He went to the people who needed him most - the crooks, the prostitutes, the lowly and disreputable characters. Something about the quality, strength and passion of Jesus shook these people in a very non-threatening manner. He offers a peaceful and inviting relationship to Matthew, which is ultimately the exact character that drew me nearer to him. 

As I sat in the pew that evening of June 7, God's voice echoed in my mind: "Follow me." Indeed, the calling was clear. God was calling me - the least of many. "Choose yourself, or choose me," he said. Herein lies the vocation of my life. My heart was convicted. Just weeks later I drove across the Arizona/California border and started an adventurous journey of "following" Jesus. Just to add to it, my given name happens to be Matthew. Well, at least that made it easier for me to follow along in the sermon. 

Nowadays, I get to share the wonderful journey with my loved ones via blog style. Appropriately named, matthewninenine will always have a special spot in my life, as the story and account of Jesus continue to affect those I now encourage to "just come and see."

Settling In. . .

Day one was a doozy of a whopper. Andy picked me up at the airport before noon, local time. I jumped right into island life and doing ministry. It wasn't long until Andy and I had our first board meeting. I wasn't expecting it so soon, but I knew it would happen before long. So I crammed all my luggage into the SUV and we headed to the beach. Like I said, we had our first board meeting. Surf's up!

Later on in the night I had my first real contact with kids in the area. . .the Lahainaluna football squad. Andy is a coach for the JV team, so I got to follow him around. The sense of family and camaraderie amongst the kids and coaches is quite remarkable. This team plays not just to represent the school, but the entire community of Lahaina. People show up for this team - they have a solid following. It was exciting just to be a part of practice and have a presence. Later in the night, the entire football program had a bye week sleep-over on the home football field, which included a feast, entertainment and a movie. The fun part. . .Andy was put in charge of facilitating the entertainment. So naturally, Andy and I put on a Young Life club with 52 teenage boys! It was awesome! I didn't stay the night though, I was way too tired. Three hours worth of time change wore me out!

After settling in here with the Claydon family, we paused to realize how blessed we are to live and serve the Lord in such a beautiful place. From the kitchen window you can see the ocean, as well as the sunset each day. So this evening, Saturday, we played a game of wiffle ball in the street and onto the front lawn. A few of the neighborhood boys were hanging out. Such a blast!

The sun was setting on the front lawn. Instinct, I grabbed the camera. Witnessing the fading fire ball bouncing off the clouds reminded me of a passage from Ecclesiastes chapter 3. Enjoy!

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

A Truthful Heart

Proverbs 3:5

My mind is racing. My one-way flight to Maui departs in less than 48 hours. I am so thankful for this space to vent. The question tonight is this: "Is it sad that I can already visualize crying myself to sleep in Maui??" 

Allow me to explain. . .

I have had plenty of time to mentally prepare for the move to Hawai'i. However, I have not had the relaxed confidence (or contentment, I can't decide which word to use here) to fully explain to ALL family, friends and others what this move actually means for me. To be honest, I have been astonished by the responses to the update, perhaps completely surprised. I guess I assumed the reactions would be different.  It has caused me to take another look at the whole process, which I look forward to digesting more as time passes. After two weeks in Texas, maybe the most common reaction I heard was, "Wow! Maui is beautiful! When can we visit?"

The truth is, I'm quite nervous. I am leaving my family all over again and putting distance between some very meaningful relationships. I hardly know anyone in Maui, also not very familiar with the surroundings or have all the comforts and securities of calling the shots. Granted, I know I sound like a mess. But in my heart, I know this is a healthy fear. 

Even though I don't expect everyone to understand my motive in this, it must be voiced. I have had significant time to think about the very purpose of the journey. In fact, I have had enough time to think of why I am not going either. It goes something like this: 

I am not departing so I can live next to the roaring waves; I am not hoping to merely drag my feet in the sand; I am not moving to see how tan my body can get; I am not reaching to catch rainbows. As wonderful and enticing as each scenario sounds, they are nothing more than light and fluffy complements to my goal. Quite honestly, I am after one thing: to know what it means to entirely NEED God. 

This passion to need God jumped in my life at the end of May 2010. It came at me strong. I began to consider if being homeless would help me understand what this need meant. At least in my life, I have become complacent with my walk in various ways. Have I lost my faith? No. But am I a hypocrite? Yes! - because my demonstration does not always match my proclamation. Do I take most things for granted? Yes! - while the majority of the world suffers without. Do I turn from those in need? Yes! - while I sleep in my comfortable bed in my safe house with warm water and electricity. Am I calling that a sin? Not necessarily, but in my own life, I have lost sight of what it means to need God. And that my friends, is what I am after. My hope and prayer is that I may fall helplessly in need of God in every aspect of my life. 

In Colossians 1:15, it reads that "Jesus Christ is the visible image of the invisible God." This is what I will lean on. To better know God, I will look at Jesus. To understand how to share that with others, I will study the teaching's of Jesus. To better know how to completely, unconditionally and solely rely on God, I will turn to Jesus in the darkest of nights, the strangest of times and the most unholy of rebellion. In that same breath, I am not afraid to cry in Maui. 

Pray for me on this journey. It is better not to go alone. 

Posting for Purpose

Mission statements are legit. But not here. I simply don't have one. I don't want one. I don't feel I need one. Perhaps this blog, the treasure box, won't be labeled with a mission, but it definitely has a purpose.

I write because I have thoughts that need to go somewhere. . .other than the corners of my mind. I am on a wild, faith-filled journey. . .that I do not want to go on alone. Therefore, out of the sake of sharing thoughts and provoking conversations, seeking guidance and sharing story, I have resorted, like many I follow, to the world wide web. This blog is intended to be a place of discussion, consultation, ventilation, question, observation and discovery. The conversations stemming from this collection of thoughts are aimed towards sifting through what I am convinced a major part of our life purpose is all about. . .learning more about our creator. . .and how he plays a role in the life we live out.

As the stories begin to unravel, entertain yourself and everyone else by adding your own thoughts and opinions. Public dialog, my friend. Your additions are encouraged and valued. Speak freely, but please be tasteful.

It should be one epic adventure. Join me, won't you?

Here's to the journey. . .of sifting through the treasure box. . .